Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
