I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
