Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
