found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
