I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
