Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
only you would photoshop your dick
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
