Nicole vs. Life
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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