It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
