I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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