It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
