I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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