Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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