Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
