I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
