Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
