best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
