Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
