I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
