Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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