Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
