The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
