it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
