remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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