Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
