It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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