I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
