Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
