So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
