like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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