I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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