I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there's paper in my vomit.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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