i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
