Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
