I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
