Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
