evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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