you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
