why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
