The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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