I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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