If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
