Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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