Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
