She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
