69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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