going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
