Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
