Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
