Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
