I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
