I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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