i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
